I went to my own wake – and it’s a night I will never forget
When Bradford man Trevor Sugden was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer, one of his first reactions was to ask his consultant what he could do to help.
The retired contracts manager says that his positive attitude has helped to sustain him, and he has put his faith in the medical profession.
He’s already a trained volunteer speaker to promote Marie Curie and talk about his own experience of living with a terminal illness, and was a member of a local Marie Curie fundraising group for many years. Helping others has always been a constant in his life undertaking a variety of voluntary roles.
But as a self confessed extrovert, who loves to party, he knew that there was one party he could not miss – and that was his own wake.
He didn’t want a depressing wake with people clad in black, instead he wanted it to be a night to remember and he wanted to be the star guest.
His ‘I’m Awake Wake Party’ was held in a Clayton golf club where Trevor dressed in a banana yellow clown suit, complete with a floppy jacket, outsize trousers and a striped tie. Instead of guests singing sad songs around his casket, they enjoyed his Elvis impersonation and a stand-up comedy skit.
“It was a fantastic night. Wakes when you are dead are depressing. While this was very emotional, it wasn’t sad. It was a celebration and I wanted to be there,” he explained.
He’s even drawing up the guest list for his next annual wake. It helps that he is extremely positive, and fortunately he’s in no pain even though he’s under community palliative care with primary liver cancer.
He admits that he has benefited from the help and kindness of a range of health professionals, including the cancer team at St James’s Hospital’s Bexley wing in Leeds and the staff at Marie Curie Hospice in Bradford.